The Union Doesn't Allow Smiles

School picture day always causes a measure of excitement:  choosing just the right outfit that preferably coordinates with the backdrop and the outfits worn by the siblings (as the framed photos are usually grouped).  Maybe this level of perturbation germane to school pictures is excessive at best and neurotic at worst.  Despite my best efforts to the end of a harmonious collection of school photographs, I ended up with a photo of Littlest a la lunching construction workers atop the RCA building at Rockefeller Center.  

Normally, schools send home pamphlets which allow the parents a choice in backdrop and give an idea of package pricing; at least, that's my experience with American schools.  I'm accustomed to Spring pictures with waterfalls, meadows and blossoms in the background. I now know that I should not have imposed my prior photography experiences on the German school system.  

Littlest's German Kindergarten posted a sign-up sheet with slots available for photographs:  no pose choices, no listed prices, no indication that the backdrop would be something other than that which evokes images of Spring.  Littlest's individual portrait was taken during school hours with the slots made available so that a family/sibling picture could be taken later in the afternoon.  

Anticipating that geraniums would feature prominently in the backdrop (inescapable flowers in our village), I chose a red dress for Littlest.  Dropping her off at school the morning pictures were to be taken, I noticed that nearly all of the other children were wearing jeans and casual clothing.  Thinking that maybe I'd overdressed Littlest, I kissed her cheek and left her to smile her best in front of what I hoped would be faux Geraniums.  

Later in the afternoon, I took the other three to Littlest's school for a sibling picture (all in matching outfits).  I felt like something of a circus show walking in as I panned the room and saw that other parents and siblings also wore jeans and casual clothing; maybe I'd missed something?  Our family is something of an attraction under normal circumstances due to the fact we are six strong.  Now, deck said family out in coordinating outfits, Nellie Olsen bows and newsboy caps and you definitely garner attention.  Meeting the eyes of other parents who took a prolonged look at the lot of us, I smiled as if to say, "This is how Americans roll on picture day!"  

When our name was called to go to the ad hoc studio set up in the music room, I noticed that the backdrop was meant to look like a sky (inward curse...I should have gone with a pastel palette).  The photographer staged the five of us (J was in the States) and began to take pictures.  After a few shots with the kiddos looking in all directions save for the photographer's, he asked, 'What is it you say in the United States to make children smile?'  I answered and he acknowledged my response with a nod.  I laughed when the photographer prompted the kids to smile by saying "Kaese" or the German word for cheese (incidentally, saying the word 'cheese' in German ends in an 'uh' sound so that when he took our photo, it looked as if we were all belching).  The kiddos understood what was meant and pealed with laughter.  The giggly response caused the photographer to begin teasing the kiddos by asking, 'Well, what's the right word?  Spaghetti?  Schnitzel?" until the kiddos rang out "Cheese" in unison.  I left the studio confident that at least one of the 30 or so shots would produce a group of kiddos looking at the camera at the same time with at least a quasi-grin: success!  

Imagine my surprise when two weeks later, I was called to view the proofs.  The photo on top was a picture of my sweet baby on a steel beam with a lunchbox (the photo taken during school hours)!  

Nothing says spring like a girder and hard hat!  Apparently, spring involves engineering in Germany!  Littlest looks a bit puzzled as if to say, "I've never had a picture quite like this!"  Maybe the construction union forbids smiles.

Littlest's Kindergarten class

Say Wienerschnitzel!  I'm not really sure why the photographer positioned Log in a kneeling position; it makes the composition look a bit off, don't you think?